We are Hypereuropeans

I say, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 
Chuck Palahniuk 

Warning: after years, this one post is finally NOT (entirely) about myself. Enjoy.

The fun of traveling is mostly about meeting people: testing cultural prejudices against real case scenarios, learning new stories that we readapt featuring ourselves as main characters, discovering what feels like home and what's radically different. And Americans, at least those I dealt with (many proud Californians plus some from all around the US), are so different. I swear. Here is why, in three handy paragraphs.

RELIGION aka AMERICANS ARE YOUNG
It is priceless to live traditions and beliefs in person, with an insight that survives once back in the Old Smoky Continent. Americans are religious, no matter if they talk about God or golf or easy money in Vegas, and not just like pawns in a church table game: they're crusaders, enthusiasts, active human beings, clever catechists. With feelings to admire. Those feelings we Hypereuropeans sadly buried centuries ago under inches of dust -- what are we left with? Our private bittersweet smile popping out whenever they rejoice in philosophy and true values and the Bible, because they are young and yet look like our grandparents.

(Scientology. Hollywood, CA)

MONEY aka AMERICANS ARE LUCKY
There's no better self-explanatory cityscape than the average neighborhood surrounding San Diego: upper-class condos, never-ending shopping malls and gas stations like mushrooms, contemporary cathedrals between hills and ocean. Grocery stores are just not for singles. Thick waste sinks, no trace left. You can smell Abercrombie & Fitch around the corner. Mexico is Layer1, on top of which the whole USA-ISO-OSI pompously stands (but also the Old Corrupted Continent features colorful inner layers, no surprise). White little dogs from SoCal on impeccable green grass, they come half-price and don't even take dumps. Old Town, Wells Fargo, that's where history is: yet half of those buildings are younger than my first word, mamma -- Hypereuropeans can hardly stand that.

(Not-so-american fridge. La Jolla, CA)

SEX aka AMERICANS ARE SLUTS
Provocative titles are only conceived to draw the attention (or maybe not). Booty shakers mimic the Big One that never comes, never never ever comes. Romanticism is reinvented daily, because thank God those creepy ancient Parisiennes are already sleeping thousands of miles away in the Old Sinking Continent when the night finally comes in San Francisco. Breast implants in Los Angeles officially declare they have feelings, too. And still when every single American waitress smiles while taking orders, you poor Hypereuropean, smart guy, mouldy living dead... you do still think it's about sex.

(Flyer. Hollywood, CA)